Welcome to your mid-twenties

I dug a hole to China and I went back in time. Being a foreigner on this planet helped to fuel my carefree lifestyle. I had so little worries. I became a man-child. Or, I guess in this case, a woman-child.

I had always (pretty much) played by the rules. Not on purpose, it just happened this way. But then I went away. While I would hear about people moving on, succeeding and becoming adults back in home country I danced around like a little party elf. This was the life that I wanted. I liked that I could stay out until the sun came up, go teach a class of thirty five first graders, and do it all again the next night. To me, that was progress. Life progress. I no longer felt a hangover, win.

But then I noticed that the conversations I was having were lacking in context. There was no intelligent banter, or witty repertoire. My day to day chatter was filled with “oh my god, last night was soooo fun”, and “do you know what you’re wearing tonight? you should totally wear… it would be sooooo cute!” And, while sounding like a valley girl seems comical now, I should have noticed at the time that I was beginning a downward spiral into woman-childhood.

I should have picked up on the clues. But, I didn’t. And, I hadn’t realized my descent until recently. I am in my mid-twenties. A stage in life that puts you on the cusp of adulthood. There are certain unwritten rules for people in their mid-twenties. You should either be in the process of accomplishing your dreams, or you have already accomplished them. To some extent. If you fall in neither category, what the hell are you doing? Your mid-twenties bring panic and the daily question “what the fuck am I doing?” That is, if you’re in any position like mine. You are ultimately in limbo.

The other night when I was walking home from the bus stop meandering my way through throngs of drunk “just legals”, all that kept going through my head was “damn kids”. I wanted to get home to a cup of tea and book. What?! So I realized, on the one hand, yes I do love to dance my face off, I do happen to get stuck in big crowds and occasionally get punched in the face and peed on at shows, and I do enjoy drinking games that involve Mario Kart… I enjoy drinking games, period. But, I am also ready for an adult life. I’m ready for the all fulfilling career that makes me giddy, for the property investment, for a full bank account and time off to travel.

While living in China had changed me into the ultimate woman-child. Moving back has turned me into a confused kind of woman-child. It is difficult to find a medium. My guess is that this is what the rest of my twenties will likely be. A strange dance between the young me, and the old. Entering into mid-twentydom is the entrance way to embarking on this whole other part of life. Probably no more school. You probably have a good sense of who you are at this point. And all that you have are your natural tools and the ones that you’ve earned. Now, how to put them to use.

Welcome to your mid-twenties, sucka.